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Gabe

Whom the Rapper is based off

Newell

Call Card

Gabe Newell battled Shigeru Miyamoto and Mario in Epic Rap Battle Parodies 36. He was played by Justin Buckner.

Information on the Rapper:Edit

Gabe Logan Newell (born November 3, 1962) is the co-founder and managing director of video game development and online distribution company Valve Corporation.

After having dropped out of Harvard University Newell spent thirteen years working for Microsoft Corporation, ultimately becoming a "Microsoft Millionaire". Newell has described himself as "producer on the first three releases of Windows". Inspired by Michael Abrash, who left Microsoft to work on the computer game Quake at id Software, Newell and another Microsoft employee, Mike Harrington, left Microsoft to found Valve in 1996. He and Harrington used their money to fund Valve through the development of Half-Life.

During production on Half-Life 2, he spent several months focusing on the Steam project.

In 2007, Newell openly expressed his displeasure over developing his software for gaming consoles, particularly the PlayStation 3. In regard to the system, Newell was once quoted as claiming that developing processes for the console in general was "a waste of everybody's time" and "a disaster on many levels ... I'd say, even at this late date, they should just cancel it and do a do over. Just say, 'This was a horrible disaster and we're sorry and we're going to stop selling this and stop trying to convince people to develop for it'." Nevertheless, at E3 in 2010, Newell appeared on stage at Sony's keynote; while acknowledging his past outspoken comments on console development, he discussed the open nature of Sony's PlayStation 3 platform, and announced Portal 2 for the console, remarking that with Steamworks support it would be the best version for any console. Newell has also criticized the Xbox Live service, referring to it as "a train wreck". He was also intensely critical of Microsoft's latest operating system Windows 8, calling it a "catastrophe" and a threat to the usually open nature of PC gaming

Lyrics:Edit

Verse One:Edit

Let me explain the true meaning behind your little Wii,

Winning is impossible when rapping against me,

You think you're in Heaven's Hands up in the stars?

I'm surprised the terrible graphics could get you that far!

I'll chop you in half, just like my Steam game prices!

Counter Strike you with rhymes, crush you like your handheld devices!

Wii U and Gamecube? I'd rather play a Playstation,

Crushing your Super Smash Balls as I score a Domination!

You just lost a console war, you have no chance in this fight,

You're a mistake, like those Let's Play Copyright Strikes!

I've seen better graphics on an old Tamagotchi,

Prepare to die, Shiggy, just like Hiroshi Yamauchi!

Verse Two:Edit

Medic! Come and give my rhymes an UBERCHARGE!

It's time to change class and show this loser who we are!

Verse Three:Edit

It's taking me awhile to make Half-Life 3, yes,

But at least I'm not trying to sell a failed 2DS,

You even said yourself, delayed games are eventrually better,

But in your case, they'll all just be bad forever.

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