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The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman. Epic Rap Battle Parodies #7
February 21, 2013
Legend of Zelda shopkeeper and mask salesman, The Happy Mask Salesman, rap battle against Resident Evil 4 shopkeeper The Merchant, to see who the creepier salesman is.
Sorry about the bad looking lyrics, if you can't read them, here they are:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
THE HAPPY MASK SALESMAN
Happy Mask Salesman:
Oh hi, 72 hours remain, before I kick your ass to shame
I'm telling you, you're gonna shit yourself when you see me in-game.
Alrighty stranger, we ain't gonna buy your herbs.
Let that clock tick down, then the moon will kick you off my turf
You shouldnt've done that? I made Ben drown
Remove that dumb bandana so I can laugh at that frown
You sound like a 50 year old guy who smoked a lot
Explain to me how you feel when Leon walks past your shop.
Hello stranger, you got your facts flipped.
Tell me why your pedophilic ass has to scare those little kids
Don't look at me with that stupid ass grin you creepy damn clown
The reason I wear this bandana is so that I don't see your ass in Clock Town
I sell all of my shit, you're just a loan shark
At least when I wanna sell something, stranger, the price is a decent mark
Me kick your ass? Ahh I'll buy it at a high price!
The moon doesn't wanna see your ass, so he crushed your town with all his might.
Happy Mask Salesman:
I once heard this story of the Merchant who cried Bankrupt
Did umbrella get to you or did you think you actually won?
I'll light the blue torches, sell everything in your shop
Sorry Merchant, you lose, just...please.....stop.
Got a lot a good things on sale, stranger, your victory isn't one.
What are ya buyin? Sike, I would never let you be a customer, son.
24 hours remain, better get your shit and fly
Want another ass beating? (Hhaha,) come back any time.