The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman - Epic Rap Battle Parodies

The Merchant vs The Happy Mask Salesman - Epic Rap Battle Parodies

The Happy Mask Salesman VS The Merchant
Battle Information
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Other Information

The 7th installment of Epic Rap Battle Parodies. It features The Happy Mask Salesman from Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, rapping against The Merchant from Resident Evil 4. It was uploaded Febuary 21st, 2013.


Zander Kanack as The Happy Mask Salesman

Justin Buckner as The Merchant

Hunter Tolliver as Zombie


The Happy Mask Salesman:Edit

Oh, Hi! 72 Hours Remain before I kick your ass to shame!

I'm telling you, you're gonna shit yourself, when you see me in-game!

Alright stanger... We ain't gonna buy your herbs,

Let the clock tick down, then the moon will kick you off my turf!

You should have not done that... I made BEN Drown,

Remove that dumb bandana so I can laugh at that frown!

You sound like a 50 year old guy, who smoked a lot,

Explain to me how you feel when Leon walks past your shop!

The Merchant:Edit

  • Laughs

Hello stanger, you got your facts flipped,

Tell ME why your pedophillic ass has to scare little kids!

Don't look at me with that stupid grin, you creepy damn clown,

The reason I wear this bandana is so I don't see your ass in Clock Town!

I sell all my shit, you're just a loan shark,

At least when I want to sell something, stanger, the price has a decent mark!

The Moon doesn't want to see your ass so he CRUSHED YOUR TOWN with all his might!

Me kick your ass? Ahhhh, I'll buy at a high price!

The Happy Mask Salesman:Edit

I once heard this story, of the Merchant who cried Bankrupt!

Did Umbrella get to you, or did you think you actrually won?

I'll light the blue torches, sell everything in your shop,

Sorry Merchant, you lose.. just.. please... STOP!

The Merchant:Edit

Gotta lot of good things on sale stanger, your victory isn't one!

What are ya' buyin? SIKE, I would never let you be a customer, son!

24 hours remain? Better get your shit and fly!

Want another ass beating? Haha! Come back anytime!


  • This battle is also the first where Nathan Provost didn't appear at all.
Who Won?

The poll was created at 00:04 on March 8, 2013, and so far 12 people voted.