Eyeless Jack vs Laughing Jack - Epic Rap Battle Parodies Season 3 finale15:01

Eyeless Jack vs Laughing Jack - Epic Rap Battle Parodies Season 3 finale

Eyeless Jack VS Laughing Jack
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The 50th installment and Season 3 finale. It features Blue Masked killer, Eyeless Jack, up against insane clown killer, Laughing Jack, to see who is the best "Jack" creepypasta, before other creepypastas join the battle. It was released August 9th, 2014.


Hunter Tolliver as Eyeless Jack (Audio)

Justin Buckner as Eyeless Jack (Actor), The Midnight Man (Actor), Richard Van Buren (Actor), SCP Scientist (Actor), SCP-087, SCP-173 (Cameo), Horace Horrible (Actor), Ron Jeremy (Cameo), WHO WAS PHONE, Russian Sleep Experiment (Actor), and Squidward's Suicide

Kevin Krust as Laughing Jack

Zander Kanack as The Observer, SCP Scientist (Audio), Smile Dog (Cameo), Tails Doll, Russian Sleep Experimentee (Cameo), SuicideMouse.avi, and Abandoned By Disney

Froggy as  B.O.B (Actor), Hoody (Cameo), Happy Appy, and Dead Bart (Actor)

Nathan Provost as Ticci Toby 

Anthony Perry as Herobrine (Actor), SCP-106 (Actor), The Rake (Actor), and Walt Disney (Cameo)

Cameron Greely as Herobrine (Audio) and Zalgo (Cameo)

Jacob S. as The Midnight Man (Audio) and Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv (Audio)

Ciaran McGinn as Richard Van Buren (Audio)

Fel as SCP-106 (Audio)

Ivo Hora as The Rake (Audio)

Dakota Wilson as Slenderman (Cameo), The Skin Taker, and Link (Cameo)

Frenzy as Pirate Percy

KyenzaCartoons as Horrace Horrible (Audio)

Stofferex as B.O.B (Audio)

Mat4yo as The Grey Man (Audio) and Dead Bart (Audio)

Adam (Pool) as UBOA

DHFilms as Polybius

Stephanie Smith as Luna Game

Zack Maloney as Sally (Audio)

Miss4yo as Sally (Actress)

Matthew Thomas as M A R I O

Nico Raimont as Sonic.exe

KGBronies as Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv (Actor)

Salvadore Mancha as Russian Sleep Experiment (Audio)

Brandon Lorbes as HABIT

Pop Filter as Evil Otto

tankrulez615 as James (Cameo)

Vincent Otake as Murder Victim (Cameo)

LStarAnimationz as Murder Victim 2 (Cameo)


Eyeless Jack:Edit

It's Eyeless Jack here, and I’m back for revenge!

I'll murder all these verses like I did to all my friends!

I’ll blister this mister jester, you’re nothing but a cloud wisp,

I couldn’t stand to see your story, and I’m absolutely eyeless!

Now I'll wear my mask again like it was a masquerade,

Better quit your laughing, 'cause I'm about to jack your fame!

My flows are darker than the void in my heart and eyes,

Even with your clown cousin, Ronald, victory would still be mine!

Laughing Jack:Edit

All around the mulberry bush, the clown chased the blind man,

With a weird eating disorder, dude, stop eating those hands!

I'm going ham, squeezing your ass until Pop Goes the Weasel,

I'll maniacally take you down, eyeless man, I'm pure evil!

I bring pain! You'll go insane just like my playmate Isaac,

Before you get kicked, smacked with a brick, and a mouthful of ticks!

You see how dope I'm flowing? Oops! I guess not,

I'll break to your home, trash your rooms, and leave a dead dog!

Eyeless Jack:Edit

This Dumbo given by angels’ about to get back some pain

I'll end you harder than the little kids you maim! Remember James?

You're dressed as an emo mime, while I've got vicious battle rap attacks

Cut you no slack, I'm making a comeback, you'll remember Eyeless Jack!

Laughing Jack:Edit

I may be a clown, but this time I'm not joking,

It'll be a pleasure to nail you to the wall and cut you wide open,

I'm dispersing these rhymes so hot, they'll make you descend,

Why don't you leave this battle now and go jack off to BEN?

The Observer:Edit

It's the Observer, hacking into this war between two fools,

You bitches never learn, but I'm gonna leave you two schooled!

I've been observing, I'll leave you burning, before this next rhyme,

And I be swervin', even murdering your TribesTwelve times,

You could never find me, with these bombs that I'm dropping,

Trying to fight me is Useless, I'll always be Forever Watching!

Okay, you two. Let's see what today we've learned,

How many Jacks does it take to know you cannot defeat The Observer,

Just like my friend, Noah, I'll leave your brain melting,

I Interrupted your verses, because I found them repelling,

Your souls will be mine after I have a feast on your asses,

None of you punks are even prepared for when I take off my glasses!

Ticci Toby:Edit

They call me Ticci Toby, not like you’d c-c-care that much,

Once I’m done talking to myself, I’ll blow steam on you punks,

You think you are creepy? This twitching kid don’t give two shits,

I’ll kill you all off, and feed you to the ticks!

Stop acting like you’re hot, when you’re colder than the rain,

How can you damage me? I’m fucking immune to all pain,

Don’t even try to diss me or your life will be at stake,

You picking on the retarded kid's the last mistake you’ll ever make!


Herobrine has joined to disconnect you from your dicks,

I'm pulling out my diamond sword to leave all of your throats slit!

You two Jack-offs should just piss off, you’ll experience your End with me,

And all I can Observe from this anti-social brat is an Enderman wannabe!

Please, these cheesy teases of terror should’ve known they can’t take this,

I’ll cause heart attacks, nightmares, death, and do it all in 8 bits!

Don't try to take on my blank eyes, this Swede’ll be the last contender,

Wherever you’re suffering, know I’ll be watching in the Short Render!

The Midnight Man:Edit

♪ Don’t turn on the lights during the Midnight Game

Do not use a flashlight during the Midnight Game

Do not go to sleep, during the Midnight Game

And don’t attempt to use another’s blood for your name ♪

f you think you’re gonna beat me, you’re lost in your dreams,

Purifying crappypastas like you is just Ritual for me,

Walk your little game, Herobrine, I bask in the tears of the damned,

I'm an embodiment of faith, your fate’s in my hands!

Take a blood sample, make a case of the proxy behind the screen,

You can’t see I’ll be cackling at the deaths of these teens,

Until the clock strikes twelve, you’re in my realm, no escape,

Darkness you can’t handle, light your candle, pray for the day!

Richard Van Buren:Edit

Are you feeling lonely? Then come visit my site

I’m not afraid of two Jacks, an Observer and Midnight

I’m as crazy as an ape on this track, just check the links,

You’ll find more than you bargained for when you come for the kinx!

I’ll perform a seance to tell this moose that he’s just Useless

Any attack from a hack and his Jacked friends on me is fruitless!

When you find my site, you’ll be Tongue Tied, like when I rap and dis,

This staticy kid’s so lonely, I bet he would try and fap to this!

SCP-087 and SCP-106:Edit



(087 in Bold, 106 in Italics)

Welcome to the never-ending staircase of Hell,

Once I’m released from my cell, you know your lives won’t end well!

There’s no lights, so you’re in for a treat!

We’re most uncontainable freaks since 173! 

There’s a baby down here, don’t you want him to be safe?

Then get the mics outta my face, I’m Radically insane!

Ready to see my real face? Come near us if you dare

We’ll be waiting for you at the bottom of the stairs!

The Rake:Edit

Your rhymes are as tedious as your never-ending staircase,

And you so called creepypastas are such a waste of space!

Watch me munch on these monsters like I munch on sick rhymes,

I'm The Rake, bitches, great bitches, haunting through time!

I've been around for so many centuries, now making these SCPs history,

I’ve been trapped after death, but I’m breaking free, and no one will figure out my mystery!

My feet will keep crawling and my rhymes will keep flowing,

Just like my internet fame, my mouth will keep growing!

The Skin Taker:Edit

Light the candle on this Candle Cove, Skin Taker has arrived!

I want you to scream in my studio, so GO INSIDE!

I’ve been investigated by tons, you’re the Laughingstock of me,

Don’t touch your remote yet, ‘cause here’s Pirate Percy!

Pirate Percy:Edit

It's Pirate Percy, maties, no way you'll get through me,

I'll make you scream as soon as I exit your TV screen,

I'll be laughing at this jackass while making the rest of you suffer

Because a battle is no place for you already dead landlubbers!

Horace Horrible:Edit

It's clear that we've entered a hostile environment,

So allow the man in top hat to teach you about violence,

Just takes a slash of the throat and death ensues, children!

Just like the Lost Treasure, you'll never be seen again!


Once you hear the sound of glass shattering downstairs,

You’ve known that you are in for a true frightening scare,

I’m the Creature, I’m your teacher, so get ready to stop,

You guys are gonna die when you meet the eyes of BOB!

I might have no arms, but I’ll still slam you till you’re dead,

You’ll see me through the space of the curtains when you’re in your bed,

This is your final warning, there is no way to harm me,

Online wimps like yourselves would think I needed an Army!

The Grey Man:Edit

Time to go to sleep, you freak, you'll never escape,

You hide in labs and forests while I haunt the Dreamscape!

Pray your death comes quick when you see me in the distance,

I’ll paint a Rake and his armless mate all over the Violence District!

None of Slendy’s proxies or you SCP’s could scare me,

You hear me? Puppets and a twisted Ron Jeremy!

Midnight’s worse than Twilight, leave this square dismembered,

You’ve seen the man I am, still want to remember?


I’d rather not remember, your face is ugly as sin!

Now let's turn out the lights because the fun shall begin!

I'm known as an NPC but I have spawned many stories,

And this stalker must be high if he thinks he's got all the glory!

Don't even think about touching me, I'll send your ass to the Desert,

I'll let out these screams and make sure you all get severed!

There's Snow way out of this, can't get away with your bike,

Pinch yourselves now, for I have taken over your lives!


OH! All of these tripping creepypastas are making me sick,

Just like my game, I’ll chop you up into 8 bits,

We got a guy without arms, and a little masquerade,

All of you will be doomed when you step in my arcade!

I’ll break you like a rake, leave you all to your demise,

I covered up the kids I killed with Secrets and Lies,

I kick it old school, and I’m gonna be your teacher,

I’m shaking down this battle, so get ready to have a seizure!


I’ll never love you all, stop interfering my channels!

Just let me catch you all, and light you up like the Midnight Man’s candles!

I don’t need any love from all of you faggots who haven’t won!

I have no hard feelings, especially when you all are done!

You bitches are the big reason on why I want to die!

I’m charging up, so make sure you run away and hide!

I know when you’re lying to me, so prepare for Shock Attack!


Happy Appy:Edit

Hello children! Welcome to this episode of Happy Appy,

I'm friendly, I'm fruity, but I'm also feeling snappy,

I may have got banned from Nick Jr, but I'm still standing strong,

With how much this rodent obsesses, it's like he wants his owner's schlong!

Now everybody calm down, because the violence is building,

Let's broadcast these slaughters, because that's natural, children,

Well, let's conclude this episode, I had fun with you all,

See you all next time, in the afterlife hall!

Luna Game:Edit

You'll hear the trotting of your doom, the galloping of your death soon,

Except this time it ain’t a game, I’ll be the princess of a Blood Moon!

It’s the Queen that leaves even Pinkamena scared to death,

Let’s see you try to clop after witnessing this JPEG!


Prepare to be kicked to the desktop, here comes Creepybloom!

It won’t take five games to turn this loon to Happy Appy-juice!

My rhymes will buck you hard, haunt you Equestria Daily!

You’ll be spammed and deleted, cause The End is Neigh!


I’m a sad girl trapped inside this wreck of a home,

Don't even go near me, just turn around and go,

Wanna play a game? A game called Hide-And-Go-Seek?

I’ll drown you in depression and we shall go to sleep,

I’m living in my pond of my really wet tears,

Can you please get out? I want some Alone time here,

I want to live my dreams, getting crossed like a tally,

You monsters lost against the lonely, depressed SALLY!!!

M A R I O:Edit

Let’s-a go bro! Go on ahead and open the file,

This game has just begun, so you'll be here for a while!

My story’s actually true, so that means I can take on you!

The JPEG will make you have the chills when you’re crying in your room!

This is the selfish way out, let your true king take this!

When Yoshi takes over your life, you will never be truly missed!

Welcome to the Yellow Switch Palace, you’ll never be free!

So let’s play a game of hide and seek, TRY TO FIND ME!

Dead Bart:Edit

Try to find you? You'll be under the sink,

With your plumbers crack showing for everyone to see!

I left Matt Groening crying and shaking like a little girl,

Until he was too scared to mention me to the rest of the world!

You try to act tough, but face the facts,

Your princess is with Bowser and she ain't ever coming back!

You try to change the channel but I'll hide the remote-o,

And rain Grey Man’s grey matter on the streets of Kyoto!

Tails Doll:Edit

The Number One killer doll is here, let me tell you a tale,

How I beat all of you creepy wannabe fails,

Can you feel the sunshine? Because I’ll stab you where it doesn’t!

I’ll be piling all of your bodies, dozen by the dozen!

You can try to unlock me, but none of you will get far,

My telekinetic abilities will attack once you play Sonic R,

I’d love to stay and play, but I need more kids to meet me,

Let me bring in the second player, Sonic.exe!


This is the end, little fakers, yes, it ends today,

And I'm gonna kick your ass the evil hedgehog way!

You can't escape, can't get away, you little Jack Baybays,

I'm gonna laugh at you, and scare you away!

My eyes bleed red but you're all gonna be dead,

Cause when I catch up to you, I'm gonna rip off your heads!

All your stories are flawed, all flagged for fraud,

One more thing... I AM GOD!


Who was I? Well, I was mother freaking phone!

Will you shut the crap up? I am mad at your tone,

You're all Jeff rip-offs, so you can suck my Slender dick!

Herobrine, I'll kick you out like it was a Sparta kick!

Who was phone, coming in fast,

You'll need a cast like DarkLink's ass!

Talk about being God your economy is high,

You and Tails Doll are gay mates who need high fives!

Drop dead cause you suck,

If you dislike this battle, I dont give a duck!

Yo, the Rake, your nipples are ice cream cones!

Wait a minute, who are you- WHO WAS PHONE?!!

Mereana Mordegard Glesgorv:Edit

I’ll take your lives when I look you dead in the eye,

You’ll be screaming before you can even subscribe,

You know you’re fucked when you face Glesgorv,

Before you know it, all your sanity will be absorbed,

Who was Phone? Who gives a shit? You're a mess!

I'm the best of the best, you won't ever find success,

My stare alone sends shivers into grown ups and kids,

I bring terror to the 'Tube, like User 666!

Russian Sleep Experiment:Edit

Enough, Byron, your code's already been cracked,

With these lines I've got packed yours just look whack!

Let's try a little experiment, in the end you'll break!

Cause you will never sleep since my rhymes keep you awake!

I'll just gas you with my disses, so don't be having paranoia,

It'll take less than 30 days for me to verbally destroy ya!

I am in the madness within you all! And with that you got beat!

I'll leave you in such a state you no longer want to be freed!


Knock, knock, who’s there? It’s me! The rabbit, call me HABIT!

I’m nailing every one of you Crappypastas in only one little casket!

None of you can stop me for it is I who inHABITS this sanctuary!

CanYouSeeTheWords on what I’m writing? Cause it’s about to get scary!

I possess people turning them into the world’s greatest killers and villains,

You’re just restless skeletons messing with the Happy Puppet children!

I’ve driven EverymanHYBRID mad with Slender Man on my side!


Squidward's Suicide:Edit

Barnacle heads, be quiet, I wanna work on my art!

You call yourself creepypastas but you lack the creepy part,

Bunnicula’s efforts to be frightening will all be in vain,

You can say what you want, I went out like Kurt Cobain!

Be gone, just DO IT! Spit an improper diss, I'll SHOOT IT!

I blasted a fantastic symphony that night, and THEY KNEW IT!

I'm playing a deadly melody even when I’m deceased!

This battle’s reached it’s sonata, and I can rest in peace


No, I'm not having it, just watch my clip and it'll make you die

Horror, scariness, and darkness all packed inside an terrifying .avi,

You overdosed on Krabby Patties, you're nothing but lost hope,

Wanna see my head come off? Let me grab my rope…

Abandoned by Disney:Edit

Ha, no! You're just an attraction here, while I'm the big deal!

Rhymes so unreal they'll reveal that you'll kneel and squeal!

I made Disney shit his pants yet you think my skill is odd?

Don’t need to run from me, you’re already Abandoned by God!

Evil Otto:Edit

I’ve been summoned to battle all these cheesy whining hacks

You sent chills down people's spines? I gave children heart attacks

You copypastas can’t scare me, I leave the bodies piling

Go ahead and throw your disses, I’ll just keep on smiling!

When I’m seen, even the toughest can’t help but faint!

I’m scarier than you pussies and I can be drawn in MS Paint!

Been making kids go Berzerk, these 43 pixels are lethal!

Game over, motherfuckers, you’ve met with the face of true evil!

Who Won?

The poll was created at 00:45 on August 10, 2014, and so far 43 people voted.


  • There Are 29 Rappers in this battle, making it have the most characters in an ERBP.
  • It is also the longest battle ever, at 15 minutes.
  • This is the second Season finale of Epic Rap Battle Parodies to feature Kevin Krust and LazySundayPaper as the title rappers. The first being James Bond vs Austin Powers, the Season 1 finale.
  • This is the only ERBParodies to not have the announcer say "WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE?" after the final verse, similar to each of the Epic Rap Battles of History Season finales.
  • This is the first battle to feature DHfilms as a rapper.

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