|Cole Phelps VS Vault Boy 2|
The 20th installment of Epic Rap Battle Parodies. It features a rematch between detective, Cole Phelps and Fallout Icon, Vault Boy. It was uploaded July 11th, 2013. The video has been deleted, but the audio is still available.
They call me the Dark Shadow, but I am still very bright,
But you? Not so much challenging me to another fight!
Quit pointing your thumb at me, shove it up your ass!
You comic book bastard, this case will be over fast!
You're just a puppet to Vault-Tec, bobbing your head to what they say,
I'll once again shoot you up, make the Bloody Mess spray!
My disses are so cold, yet they'll leave you in flames,
My win is more certain than you making a sucky game!
I'll hack you, then decode all of your codes,
You're just a Wastleland of space, just go walk the Lonesome Road!
I don't want to hear a pip out of you, boy, so no tricks,
Don't make me send your adolescent ass back to the "House of Sticks"!
My disses are so cold, they'll hit you harder than a nuke,
You're skilled in hand to hand combat? Than put up your dukes!
I'll interrogate you, then Use and Abuse,
I always catch the criminal, you've not been wrongly accused!
Get ready, Here and Now, i'mma take you to class,
After that, bitch, I'll pop a cap in yo' ass!
You left your best friends in World War 2,
Now you're a lonely little man with nothing to do!
I'm a great leader, haven't you seen all my companions?
After your buttsex, your ass is like the Wreckage of the Canyon!
You're a Holmes wannabe, that wastes the night and day,
My flow's like radiation, so you best have some Rad Away!
You'd need a Luck skill of 100 to even cause some harm to me!
You're just jelaous because my game was one of the best at E3!
Have you solved the case? I have, you're getting ready to lose,
Vault Boy always wins, bitch! You know that's the Truth!
Not the slightest of detective work could EVER stop me,
Watch out you biohazzard bitch, I'm on a killing spree!
Come on in, and have a very shitty day,
Welcome to New Vegas, hope you enjoy your stay!
Here's the truth, you're the reason Fallout was a flop!
I'm also Doubting the fact that you can beat this bad ass cop!
I have evidence to support me, you're a lying sack of shit!
You're not the greatest rapper ever, you're just a kid who thinks he can spit!
Listen Vault Cunt! You're really pissing me off lad,
I can write better rhymes then you when I scribble on my notepad!
I'm solving the mystery here, so all the clues come together,
You'll just continue to walk alone forever and ever!
I'm coming in fast, you're going to need a cast,
Stop treating the players like Lab Rats,
I'm entering the Vault, and what do I see?
A yellow-haired idiot, who looks about three!
I'm taking you down, I wear the crown, Let's take you downtown, Gonna make you frown,
When I take you down, You dumbass clown, You look like a fat depressed Charlie Brown!
I'm the cause of the apoclypse, i'm a hardcore Rockstar!
There's no way you can hide from me in this L.A Noire!
My investigations conclude that you're just a silly cartoon,
You've no shelter from my bombshell lines which will come down "Kaboom"!
I'll burn you like coal, Phelps, and light your ass on fire,
How can you battle me when you can't tell if someone's a liar?
L.A stands for Licking Ass in your "Case",
You won't beat me if you can't keep up with a chase,
You're just a detective who can't beat me when he lags,
How about you get a very big taste of my Doctor's Bag?
If you really think you'll win, then bitch, you've had it,
Because I am the one who has the biggest Stimpack-age!
Calling yourself a cop, it dosen't hide your sins,
I'm just like the House, because I Always Win!
Looks like your Weapon Condition is pretty low,
Just call me Vault Man from now on, Mr. Cole!
I'll be winning big in the casino while you're solving pointless cases,
My rhymes are Platinum, I'll Chip your skull, get the hell outta Vegas!
My rhymes have so much flow, like the water you got killed in,
Well goodbye indeed Phelps, Vault Boy just achieved another win!
In Epic Rap Battle Parodies:Edit
- This is the first re-match.