Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps - Epic Rap Battle Parodies-2

Vault Boy vs Cole Phelps - Epic Rap Battle Parodies-2

Cole Phelps VS Vault Boy
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The 1st installment of Epic Rap Battle Parodies. It features Fallout's Vault Tec icon Vault Boy against L.A Noire's best detective Cole Phelps. It was uploaded December 23rd, 2012.


Justin Buckner as Cole Phelps

Nathan Provost as Vault Boy


Cole Phelps:Edit

Hello Vault Boy, i'm gonna kick your ass,

I solve a lot of cases with this magnifying glass,

Your stupid little takedowns really make me wanna shout,

I will use my gun, shoot you up, watch your guts Fallout,

You're hated by everyone, you got shot in the face,

You're such a little bitch, no wonder Daddy ran away!

My name is Cole Phelps hoe, from L.A Noire?

You look 6? 10? 12? Tell us how old you are!

You're such a dumbass, you can reach through that window to unlock the door,

But instead you use a lockpick and a cord?

Ouch! Hear that burn? Ain't that a Kick in the Head?

No holes in the bowl, eat irraidiated bread!

You let those stupid casino guys take all your guns?

They probably heard about what you did to Megaton!

You're a villified villian, and I'm taking you in,

Have you freakin' questioned by my partner Herschel Biggs!

Vault Boy:Edit

My name is Vault Boy, and I'm a Swift Learner,

Your game's a little repetitive, chasing every damn burglar,

That game L.A Noire is a Bloody Mess,

I can run away them burglars with my Terrifying Presence!

I am called Lord Death, i'm a real Lady Killer,

Maybe some Intense Training will help you swim through the sewers!

I'm a Rad Child, you're just a stupid piece of shit,

I solve cases with terminals, 'cause i'm a Computer Whiz!

All my companions make everything easy,

And guess what none of them hate me!

I got a Strong Back, I carry all my junk,

It's such a shame that you leave your pistol in the trunk,

Nuka-Cola, Sarsapirilla, and drinking Victory,

Between you and me? You're always crashing in a tree!

I'll smack you in the face with my Paralyzing Palm,

Stop screaming at them suspects, and please remain calm.

Cole Phelps:Edit

Listen here little boy, shall I Truth, Doubt, or Lie?

You woke up in a ditch with a bullet surprise,

Doin' what I do? It makes me cha-ching!

I know where things are when I hear (Da-ding).

Vault Boy:Edit

Oh please! You got washed out your ass!

My currency is decent 'cause I have some bottlecaps!

I have Nerves of Steel, you made Roy Earle a deal:

You'd blow his head off for dissing your friend, guess what? I did, know go squeal!


  • This in the first battle (in Epic Rap Battle Parodies) to feature two video-game characters rapping against each other.
  • This is the first and only rap battle(not including any April Fools Battles) to have a rapper with out a keyed-in background. (Vault Boy).
Who Won?

The poll was created at 16:22 on February 22, 2013, and so far 12 people voted.