|Victor Hugo VS Leo Tolstoy|
The 69th installment of Epic Fanmade Rap Battles of History. It features French author of Les Misérables, Victor Hugo, rapping against Russian writer of War and Peace, Leo Tolstoy. It was released May 16th, 2014.
Alas, allow me to turn an eye to the past,
Then look back, spit a few raps, and leave this brute Hunchbacked!
Your rhymes will come back and bite you in the ass, you haven't a chance
I'll smack this half-baked hack on behalf of all of France!
It's quite clear that you're nervous, you appear to misgive,
But so would I if I was facing the greatest writer to live!
You have two choices, Leo, either get up and flee,
Or spit rhymes that'll turn me L'Homme Qui Rit!
Shame, it appears you're in a bit of a pickle,
I'm here to pound like a hammer and slice like a sickle!
Come on kid, your rhymes are just frankly un impressive!
Your father was brave, looks like those genes were recessive!
I might not be too violent, but you're going to get fried,
Oh, you got into the French Academy? Yes, on your fourth try!
Well, I hope you've prepared yourself to take your last breath,
This won't be War and Peace, it will be War and Death!
How 'bout you just head back to Russia, you dick, you're,
Never going to win, for I shall always be the Victor,
If I'm strong willed enough to eat a mammal from the zoo,
Then I think, I just think, I can handle you too!
Prepare for another crisis, you won't like this, I'll leave you lifeless,
My rhymes are so hot, it's like they're covered in spices!
You're absolutely crazy to face me with my sick flow,
Does your family really need another loss? I don't think so!
I'm a respected, civilized, gentleman, can't you see?
Even Gandhi and Martin Luther King look up to me!
You can't defeat this rapping Russian, why even bother?
My flow is stronger than the river that swallowed your daughter!
Your endevours are irrational for your raps are but laughable,
See, your moment of glory just ended faster than your last will!
I've sent you to your enevitable doom, and additionally,
I seem to be under arrest, for the stealing of your dignity!