|Yuri Gagarin VS Jacques Cousteau|
The 56th installment of Epic Fanmade Rap Battles of History. It features Russian cosmonaut, Yuri Gagarin, rapping against French oceanographer, Jacques Cousteau. It was released February 16th, 2014.
Jacob S. as Yuri Gagarin
Ivo Hora as Jacques Cousteau
Let's go, let's ride, let us start our verbal sparring!
I've see you've come to get your ass kicked by Gagarin!
You're a married man who would rather have sex with the sea,
I'm the Columbus of the cosmos, you're the Paris Hilton of oceanography!
I'm orbiting your sorry ass spitting missiles of disses,
You best watch yourself, 'cause I'm about to get vicious!
You're gonna need an Aqua-Lung 'cause you're in some deep shit!
I'm looking and looking, but I don't see how you can win!
Sure, you can sit and yackety-yack about the past,
But it'll be a miracle if you're alive after this rap!
You're known as a hero, but you don't pose a threat,
You were in space for two hours and died in a training jet!
I've got problems with you and I'll remain outspoken,
Beating you is just gonna be a drop in the ocean!
You're a concieted bastard, Earth doesn't orbit around you!
It's one swing of my fist, you'll be seeing black and blue!
I could fight you for hours, but I'm wasting my time,
No matter how long I wait, you won't win, I guess I'm,
Raising the pace of the rhymes taking place as they race out of my mouth and straight at your face,
You're not falling with grace, you're just getting erased, as I break this disgrace without leaving a trace!
I'm frankly just better than this silly Cousteau!
Spitting rhymes with such force, I'll make an ocean overflow!
I've got power, it's like a concussion, I've crushed ya'!
I've jacked around this Jacques all for Mother Russia!
Unless you want to go into space again, I suggest you can it!
'Cause if you say one more word, then I'll knock you right off this planet!
You're called the first human in space, but that makes me grumpy,
I'm a scientist, Yuri, you're not a man, you're a monkey!
You might be able to rap fast, but do you think I give a crap?
Your balls are bigger than my ships to challenge me to duel raps!
I'm the winner of this fight, my rhymes burn like embers,
Let me turn the table, comrade, how about YOU surrender!