Mary Shelley VS Bram Stoker
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Mary Shelley vs Bram Stoker03:01

Mary Shelley vs Bram Stoker. Epic Fanmade Rap Battles of History 45-1391114279


The 45th installment and Halloween Special of Epic Fanmade Rap Battles of History. It features British author Mary Shelley and her mad scientist Doctor Frankenstein against Irish novelist Bram Stoker and his infamous vampire Count Draula. It was released on October 31st, 2013.


Molly Brown as Mary Shelley

Ivo Hora as Bram Stoker

Jacob S. as Victor Frankenstein

Mat4yo as Count Dracula


Mary Shelley:Edit

Let me teach you how to entrigue, fascinate and entertain an audience,

First Step: Don't write a fairy tale about some vampire nonsense!

Seriously, your face is the only horror that's existant,

You're not an author, Abraham, you're just a personal assistant!

You can't beat me, your Irish ass will need a four leaf clover!

You're just sad that girls you know don't want to stroke your little Stoker!

Well, not "girls you know" because you don't know shit about ladies,

Now watch your ass plummet just like your shitty book's ratings!

Bram Stoker:Edit

Look; little Mary won a short contest, how cute!

I bet you probably got that oaf Percy to write the book for you!

I'll toss you into Lake Geneva right after you get your ass kicked,

You're a classless bitch who "wrote a classic", but your death will be drastic!

Eat your heart out, bitch, before I run up to you and stake it!

I create feelings and emotions, you create green freaks who break shit!

I'm a lyrical brain tumor, I'll melt and mash your mind like jelly!

Hold on, let me write some Non-fiction: The Defeat of Mary Shelley!

Mary Shelley:Edit

Since you're an arrogant, gothic, asshole with not even half a mind,

I think it's time that I ought to hand the mic to Doctor Frankenstein!

Bram Stoker:Edit

Better grab your garlic and run, or hope to death you don't get maimed!

Starting Count-ing your days, 'cause Dracula has come to put you to shame!

Victor Frankenstein:Edit

My raps are coming alive! HA, HA THEY'RE ALIVE!

And now I'll stitch up this bitch with my Monsterous rhymes!

You suck, Count, so stick your fangs into these bloody rhymes!

Dear God, Bram created a monstrosity worse than mine!

Count Dracula:Edit

Suck your blood? You've got a drug or two in your veins,

Let's face it, based on what you've done, you're either high or insane!

You've unleased a beast, and Voila! All your friends are deseased!

You're not a mad scientist, Vick, you're a depressed little freak!

Victor Frankenstein:Edit

I'm a genius, got an Einstein brain, so don't try any tricks!

Just step back and let me show you what some REAL Impaling is!

I'm the Victor, you're batshit insane if you think it's you,

You're a mindless, mental, creep! At least my monster had an IQ!

Count Dracula:Edit

Sure, I'll follow your example: Screw up and say it's not my fault,

And then fuck off to the North Pole to complain to Robert Walton!

I mean, I get it, that Monster was a complete abomination,

But you're a huge pussy if you're afraid of your own creation!

Mary Shelley:Edit

It seems your only accomplishment is that you've managed to bore me,

Goddamn it, the undead have more life than your stories!

You and your pal Drac better get back, you've got no sack, that's enough,

And you can call me Mrs. Syphillis 'cause I just fucked you up!

Bram Stoker:Edit

I'm quite stoked, I've choked and cloaked this old bloke with my cold jokes!

You're not irrelevent, along with every goddamn word you ever wrote!

So step into this coffin, Mary, no really, I insist!

And then I'll lyrically bury this silly amateur novelist!

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