|Santa Claus VS Ebenezer Scrooge|
The 5th installment and Christmas Special of Chaotic Rap Battlez. It features the magical Christmas icon Santa Claus and his wife Mrs. Claus against Ebenezer Scrooge from a Christmas Carol. It was uploaded January 4th, 2013.
Garrett Toler as Santa Claus
Unknown friend as Mrs. Claus
I am known as SC, I'm the greatest MC there will ever be,
You think you can beat me? I'll put you in your place, six feet under the tree!
I would wrap that scarf around your face so the bruises won't show,
Because when this battle's through, I'll be sleighing in red snow!
I'll kick in your haunted door and give you some Seasons Greetings,
The only gift you'll get this year, Scrooge, is an ass beating!
I'm the King of the North Pole where I rule with an icy fist!
I'll bury you in coal, bitch, because you're on my Naughty List!
Bah Humbug! Don't come at me with that crap,
Your rap flows are gayer than little boys sitting on your lap,
Take off that stupid clown suit and go back to your pussy snow fortress,
You gonna attack me with glee? I'll hit you with an eviction notice,
I'm a professional money lender, something you could never amount!
If you think you've got a chance you must be as high as my bank account!
You'll need dry ice, you'll be so burnt from my verbal domination,
I'll crush your jolly old ass and decrease the surplus population!
I've waited all year round for this one single day,
To sleigh down from the North Pole, get in your face and say,
Fuck you Scrooge! Now the real battle has begun,
I'll beat your old ass fast before that bell tolls one!
You chose wealth over love? I'll Bah Humbug to that!
You may have more money, but i've got the bigger sack!
You need to change Scrooge, you've got no friends and fact is,
The only good thing about you is that you actually pay taxes,
Your death brought Joy to the World, there's some Christmas cheer for ya',
I could beat in the Past, the Present, and the Future!
You think you've got what it takes to win this battle of fight wits?
It's merry punks like you that make me clinch my tight fists!
So bring it on! You make beileve icon, pedophillic, chump!
You're only loved by children because of lies parents made up,
You've got no chance to rhyme aganst this dark hearted sinner,
My raps are professional like me, you're not even a beginner!
You've got reindeer and elves, but no kids of your own?
You're sterile! That's why your slutty wife calls me when you're not home!
Um, I know you didn't just make a sex joke about him,
When I bet your girl left you when you showed her your Tiny Tim,
You can call me Mrs. Claus, got raps so hard be breaking jaws,
You best beileve this Christmas Eve, I'll light you up like fire logs,
You're the biggest, oldest, meanest, richest grouch to ever exist!
You squeezing, wrenching, grasping, clutching, covetous piece of shit!
Shut your mouth wench, how's this one hitter quitter?
If I wanted any lip from you, I would pull if from my zipper!
Keep your Ho Ho on a leash like I do with Bob Cratchet,
Or I'll stock her stuffing full, and I won't even wrap it!
I spit mad heat so take a seat,
I leave MC's in defeat, when I spit on the beat,
I'm gonna rip this tight fist, hopeless,
Selfish, nit-whit, misfit, dipshit!
I spit sick rhymes quick delivered by Old St. Nick,
It shouldn't take 3 Ghosts to make you realize you're a dick!
You treat everyone like crap including your own nephew Fred,
That's your only living relative, and he even wishes you were dead!
You'll join your partner in Hell. I'll perminatly carve on your tombstone,
Here lies Ebenezer Scrooge, cause of death? Got Owned!
You know what? You're right! How could I live my life that way?
The spirits have showed me to be thankful on this glorious Christmas Day,
I must be kind and give, Eh.. Fuck that!
If I could work my will, I would spit sick rhymes so ill, that kill!
And the snow is only red from you're blood that i've spilled!
You've got an entire factory, but not one single profit?
"But 'tis the season for giving!" Well here's a hint, Stop it!
You keep Christmas in your own way, and let me keep it in mine!
The only good thing about this holiday is it's Harvest Time!
I got matched with a fat fuck who can barely fit in his own sleigh,
The world has grown out of you Claus, the retirement home is that-a-way!